Knife then Wife
by The Dark Knight's Revenge
Summary: Set post TST-movie. The night before the raid on WCKD, Thomas feels like all around crap. He hasn't been intimate with his boyfriend in months, has kissed other girls, and is responsible for f'ing their whole situation up. Newt gives him another chance. Awkward first time lemon.


Thomas was feeling thoroughly fucked.

Here he was, sitting, alone, at the top of a mountain, in the middle of the night, looking out at the desert, feeling the weight of all the shit he'd caused. And he was alone. All alone. Alone. He was practically on the verge of a full-blown meltdown. No wonder he couldn't sleep.

Alby, Chuck, Winston, now Brenda would be dead in only a matter of weeks, Min-ho was in the hands of WCKD, Mary was dead, and they were going to rain hell on WCKD in the morning likely getting the rest of everyone he knew killed. It was almost impossible to try and stop the tears burning at his eyes, so he buried his face in his arms and shook silently, willing himself not to let them spill.

"Thomas."

Thomas jerked in surprise at Newt's voice on the bluff below.

"Thomas, you weren't in bed." That night had been the first time they hadn't slept even near each other in months.

"Newt? Newt, please. I'm so- so sorry..." Thomas tried, his voice cracking and breaking.

"Thomas, I-" Newt's voice gave out as well. Thomas could barely see his boyfriend in the falling darkness, just the sharp angles of his face and shining eyes. Thomas realized he was gasping like a fish out of water, but he also realized that this could be one of the last times he saw Newt this way, alone and in the moonlight.

Thomas also realized he felt really, really overwhelmed. The tears spilled over.

"I saw you kiss her. Both of them, actually."

Thomas's heart sank. His moments of weakness... Kissing Brenda at the club and again in her tent. And Teresa. That betraying bitch.

"Thomas, I love you. But... I'm faltering here."

Thomas let out a bark of laughter and wiped his face.

"Y-you're faltering? God, what do you I do if you're faltering? What does that make me?"

Newt didn't say anything in reply, Thomas watched his breath ghost out in front of him.

"I'm fucked up, Newt... I-I've fucked up so much."

He heard the rock shift and felt one of Newt's warm hands on his shoulder. Thomas let out a shaky sigh and took Newt's hand, kissing it.

Newt had been there from the beginning in the glade. Stalwart, wonderful, infallible Newt. He'd supported him this whole time, through the maze, through the scorch, only recently had they been feeling the strain. They'd barely spoken two words to each other since they'd entered the desert, earning odd glances from the others. The only indication that they were still together was Newt's recurring presence next to him at night, his warm back pressed against his.

They might have talked about it, if either of them had known what to say. It was a miracle the silence hadn't stretched on into infinity.

"I'm sorry." Newt said into Thomas' neck.

"You're sorry? I should be sorry. I AM sorry." Thomas responded, pulling Newt's arm into his chest. Newt sat down behind and gently held him.

"You're so damn good." Thomas said, eyes burning again. "I don't deserve you."

"Damn straight you don't." Newt replied.

They sat in silence, watching their breath mist and looking beyond to the stars. They looked completely different out here in the scorch than they had in the glade.

"Thomas."

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?" Newt asked. Thomas sucked in a cold breath of air. That was a subject they had never breached.

 _"Race you to the other side." Newt said, already whipping his clothes off and heading for the watering hole on the south side of the glade. Thomas flushed and pulled his shirt off, hot on Newt's heels._

 _They plunged into the cold water, paddling across the small lake quickly, coughing on water. Thomas couldn't see past the foaming water, but when his feet hit the bottom he knew Newt was already on the other side._

 _"I always win." Newt said proudly, sitting on the bank in his full glory, smirking like the cat that had gotten the canary. "You cold, Greenie?"_

 _"Don't call me that." Thomas said through chattering teeth, standing up and letting the water drip off him. He didn't miss how Newt's eyes raked over his chest._

 _"Make me stop." Newt said lazily._

 _"Come back in the water, and I'll make you sorry." Thomas said, hoping Newt would take the bait. He did._

 _"Come closer, Newt." Thomas said, letting his voice drop. Newt did, his breath hitching as the cold water moved up and over his hips. Thomas reach out and took the younger boy's hand, leaning in. Newt didn't move away. Thomas came in almost so their lips were brushing..._

 _And dunked Newt underwater. By the time the sandy haired boy came up for air, coughing and spluttering, Thomas was already on the bank, running for his life._

 _Only to be tackled and pinned by a very naked Newt, who wasted no time in showing him who was boss. He walked away from the lake with kiss-swollen lips and a bruised cheek._

 _"_ Thomas?"

Another image flashed before Thomas's eyes, from when he had first returned from the maze with Alby. Newt had been the first to greet them, passing Alby off to Min-ho for medical attention and then fixing him in a sharp gaze.

 _"What the frag were you thinking? You could have been killed!" He shouted, right before pulling Thomas to him and kissing him like there was no tomorrow._

"Thomas, please..." Newt was pleading, breaking him out of his reverie.

"Yes, Newt. I-I do love you." Thomas said, swiveling to look the younger boy square in the eyes. Newt let out a sigh that sounded as if it had been building up a while. He buried his face in Thomas's neck, leaving light kisses there.

"Kiss me on the lips." Thomas said quietly. Newt wasted no time, turning Thomas's head to kiss him soundly on the lips. It had been weeks, maybe months since their last kiss. Hard to tell time anymore.

 _"Thomas, I'm scared..." Newt said. They were talking in private, a ways away from the others. They'd been in the maze for hours with no sign of an end. "I don't want to die h-here." His voice cracked._

 _"You're not going to die, because I'm going to protect you with everything I have. Got it?" Thomas replied, taking Newt's chin. Newt nodded. The kiss that followed had been short and sweet, enough to hold onto for the rest of their journey out of the maze. They hadn't done anything since._

They hadn't done anything since. Probably why they were sucking face like they were sucking air right now.

"Tho-mas..." Newt gasped in between open mouthed kisses.

Thomas turned himself so he could push Newt onto his back and crawl over him, straddling the younger boy's hips. Newt made a strangled noise. Thomas paused to un-kink his neck.

"Thomas..." Newt whined. Thomas blinked in astonishment at the man underneath him. Since when did Newt beg? It awakened all sorts of feelings inside him. He leaned down and began to suck on Newt's long neck. Newt groaned in reply before latching onto Thomas's neck in return and burying his hands in his hair.

"Please, Thomas. I need you." Newt begged.

"Newt, stop." Thomas gently took Newt's hands out of his hair. The younger boy recoiled, breathing hard.

"What?" Newt's voice cracked.

"I don't want to do this, not here. Not on the side of a cliff like a couple of lizards."

"The camp is far enough away, we could-"

"No, Newt. You deserve better than a quick fuck on the side of a mountain."

To his surprise, Newt let out a rusty laugh.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because we're out here, we're probably going to die in the morning, and you're protecting my honor!"

"No, Newt. It's not that I don't want to..."

"What? The last night of your life isn't a good enough occasion to lie down with your boyfriend?"

Thomas held his tongue, realizing what he'd been about to say was insane, old-fashioned.

"What?" Newt said.

"I-..." Thomas said, trailing off. It was stupid.

"Thomas. What are you trying to say?"

"I had this stupid fantasy, okay?" Thomas finally admitted. "That you and I would leave all this behind, build a house in a glade somewhere, and I'd put a ring on your hand and make you happy."

"You wanted to wife me before you knife me?" Newt asked skeptically.

"N-not necessarily. I just wanted it to be more special. For you."

Newt reached up and gently ran a hand through Thomas's dark hair. It was getting long again.

"We just discussed this, so I don't know how you missed the fragging point. I love you, you love me. Let's fuck while we can still see the stars."

"You love me?" Thomas found himself asking.

"Y-yeah? Didn't I say that already?" Newt frowned.

"No. You asked me, but you didn't say anything back."

Newt pulled Thomas's face until their noses were touching.

"I would follow you to the ends of the scorch and back, surrounded by a thousand cranks."

"You love me?"

"Definitely."

Thomas debated for half a second before he dipped his lips to meet Newt's.

"I mean," Thomas said when they pulled away, gasping. "we probably won't survive tomorrow anyways."

"What the fuck, eh?" Newt said, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Pretend we're in a nice bedroom."

Thomas kissed him again, allowing Newt's fingers to slip under his thermal shirt and let the chilly air touch his skin. He retaliated by pulling Newt's shirt up and off the younger boy's shoulders in one fell swoop, leaving him shivering slightly.

The rest of the clothes came off easily after that, and then it was only a matter of lining things up correctly in the dark and making up for having very little to lubricate with.

"Thomas?" Newt said as the older boy was kissing his neck and preparing for entry .

"Hmm?"

"Don't kiss that girl again."

Thomas pulled away for a second.

"We are moments away from fucking on a mountainside, and that's what you're thinking about?"

"I-I don't know. I just..."

"Newt?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up." Thomas began pushing, screwing his eyes up against the horrible dry feeling and Newt's gasp of pain. He didn't get very far before he had to take a moment.

"This is... harder than I thought it would be." Newt's pained voice came from below him. Thomas could feel the younger boy sweating slightly, despite the chill.

"We can stop."

"No. Alby said it gets better. You just have to -" He took a deep breath. "Keep going."

Thomas resumed pushing, and suddenly felt the rest of himself slide in. He couldn't stifle the moan of surprise and pleasure that slipped out of him. He noticed Newt's breathing had escalated.

"Talk to me." He said, adjusting his arms on either side of Newt's head. He couldn't see anything, even in the moonlight.

"This is... awkward." Newt replied. "I think I-I'm..." He trailed off.

"Faltering?" Thomas found Newt's word from earlier coming back to mind. That's what Newt's voice sounded like.

"I guess? Maybe you should move?"

Thomas pulled out ever so slightly and snapped his hips back in. The sensation that flooded him could only have been described as _heated._ He wanted to do it again.

"Keep going." Newt grunted.

Thomas kept going. Somewhere in his previous life, he'd learned - or heard - how to do this. His hips knew what they were doing. He vaguely wondered if he had practiced on another man or woman before his memory was wiped. The thought took some of the pleasure out of his thrusts, so he moved it away, electing to suck on Newt's neck instead, which made the other boy whine erotically.

"I- can't - keep this up - long." He panted, feeling a tight sensation in his stomach. He'd experienced it before and knew his finish was coming. Newt didn't reply.

After only a dozen or so more thrusts, Thomas felt himself get right up to the edge. Newt hadn't made any indication that he was nearing finish, so Thomas let a hand slip down to Newt's - _thing_ \- and gave an experimental tug. Newt's reaction was exactly what he desired, a low throaty growl that signaled his enjoyment.

The whole thing lasted maybe a half minute longer while Thomas brought Newt to finish and then collapsed himself. They were sticky, smelly, gross, and sweaty now. Thomas rolled off of Newt and tried to clean his hands in the dirt. After a moment he noticed that Newt hadn't moved.

"Newt? You okay?"

"Wow." Was Newt's only reply.

"What?"

"I dunno."

"What does that mean?" Thomas tossed Newt's clothes onto him, but the younger boy didn't move.

"I dunno."

"Newt, spit it out already. Was... was it not good enough for you?"

Newt turned his head to look at Thomas, his glittering eyes the only things visible in the darkness.

"I'm just worried that it's going to go back to how it was, I guess. Not talking or doing anything."

"That's right, we were fighting right before this. It's easy to forget." Thomas said. He finished dressing and moved to lay next to Newt, looking up at the stars.

"I really did mean it. I love you. I hope you meant it too."

"I did."

"Why did you kiss her? Either of them."

"I don't know... But it didn't feel right. Especially with Teresa."

"Betraying bitch."

"Yeah."

"I kissed Min-ho."

"What?"

"Partially to get back at you and partially because I wanted to know if it would feel the same as kissing you."

"And was it?"

"No."

"I felt the same way about the girls."

The silence hung still in the air and the first rays of sun began to shine over the desert below. Dawn was approaching. Thomas absently fiddled with the dirt and crushed rocks at his side, tossing them down the rock face. Newt didn't move.

Suddenly Thomas' fingers hit something that wasn't rock. It was metal. He held up a small metal hoop, faded and rusted. Looked like it had come off a vehicle of some sorts.

"Newt, hold out your hand." Newt looked at him in what he was sure was a quizzical manner, but gave him his hand anyways. Thomas slipped the ring onto his fourth finger, where it stayed. Newt let out his same rusty laugh.

"Knife then wife. I like your style, greenie."


End file.
